Back to here !

She've got a secret to write .

There is this guy who I wanted to know when I first saw him in the class . With my personality , end up and for sure I didn't approach him or anything . Still then , I left those those stupid quotes that says love in first sight . Zzzz ~ I'm tired of the love game . I'm still not over it yet .

Then it comes to 15 april . Wohoo my bufdayz . Still I remember it's Econ's class at left block 1.20 sitting outside the sofa while waiting lecture to come . The first word I said to him was like .. " you're in my class huh ? " [ I was like saw him once in GLT class oly =.= I tot he some other courses punya ] LOL ! Seems like he is not attractive after all . Happy that he wished me happy bufdayz :) Teeheee .

It comes closer to closer when Evon join the class . I'm happy because we use to play and hang out together with gangs . I'm quite appreciate each moment we've got . I want to had more and more . Human is greedy alright ?

Then it comes back to Dior . He came and interupt my lifee when I was like almost can forget everything .. But he was always there for me guide me and trying to pull me out to another world which is full of sunshine . He promised to bought me rocky everyday till I've feel alright .

Sometimes , I rly like the feeling . Sometimes , I don't . Because when it comes to the time when I've got the happiest time . I'm afraid of losing it too fast . I'm afraid that my heart couldn't take it . Sometimes , I wanted to stop all these . Because he is taken . and if the girlfriend knows . She must be very hurtful .. She must be so freaking depressed . Because I've that feeling too when Dior with some other girl goes just to close . I don't want to be the girl that causes them part of their problem . But I didnt know what to do . I'm confused with my own feelings .

Love is selfish . But somehow I guess I couldn't be that selfish . I'm going to walk one step away before everything goes wrongly . I don't wish to see him sad . Nor the girl of his .. I'm sorry but somehow I like you .

Insomnia .

I can't sleep well . I woke at 530 am . I went to the nearest playground as usual the place I go when I emo . Our memory is keep on repeating on my mind like a playback videotape . It's not that you said you don't want it then you cant stop it . Human being have feelings ... I wonder do you? How come till now you feel nothing and seems normal with yr life? What's happening? Why can you be so cold blooded . I miss you badly . When you text me and said you bought me the card and wanted to give me back I was waiting all the while just to see you . But then i stood and think awhile, I don't wish you to give it to me . Because i got another reason to see you once more. I knew after this we've got nothing involved . I've got no chance to even see your face . Only picture reminisce me your look our memory . Those day when we use to joke and have fun together everything we just end there . EVERYTHING . It's too hard for me to put down all these . Do you ever know that this is hurt? I went and walk for a while . The empty street ... Those loneliness ... The chilly wind ...Those helpless feeling ... Reminds me of you . That you're gone .

Misses

Absence is the best presence because when people are absent, you miss them and if you miss them, it means that they are present in your heart. ♥

Are you?

A person who irritates you always is the one who loves you very much but fails to express it.
♥

First day of work .

Well, those who are not so close (ex 5s) all came and look for me dated me out but too bad. I gotta work but those who so close like my class dont give a damn on me ): sometimes life is irony. aiks i sincerely hate that feeling ! First day of work, not bad. knew them well and we have a great chat ^^v it's fun ! all of them treat me not bad la =D
10/12/10

Last day of spm !

This post suppose should be done few this ago. But I did not post a single shit. Guess what? It wasn't really like what I tot.. So excited only~ Maybe all of us all too tired of fighting of it . Well, I suppose to hang out with guys end up... kena robbed 80 bucks. Fine forget about that. @@
Quite sad and cant believe it's like there is no way to get back to school unless u go for form 6. Life is life, accept it . =D

MERDEKA !

*thx bii for bringing me to see sunset even takde sun pun... LOL~ thx for your love much ! thx for being there for me even I was like damn F stress for spm !
8/12/10

Game over chemistry

The very first time i can answer chemistry question . I mean structure and essay !! I was like throughout the year only cukup makan all the time . I want to achieve something. That attracts ppl attention . I want to prove to Ms Lim nor Mr Zeelan . But it isn't allow me to do so. because it seems to be like paper 2 in set 3 ( freaking easy set which ppl cant predict ) not in ramalan at all !! ): It's to easy till I felt like it's an insult that I don't care about the rest of the subtopic rather than study the prediction teacher gives. That moment i feel like slapping myself. I knew I had made my dad got disappointed once again . But I already tried my best dy. My A for sure gone, but hopefully not more than that =(

Holiday again ! Woots

Got no idea why ppl nowadays is so realistic . Tired . I just want something that everlasting stays with me. I want friends , family , and my lover . Why it seems to be a wish that is so far to reach? Honestly, I didn't choose ppl according faces, attitude, and so on. all i need is a LISTENER but what I have got? Life is irony perhaps...

You made me learn to hate you.

It's a shame that it had to be this way
It's not enough to say I'm sorry
Maybe I'm to blame or maybe we're the same
But either way I can't breath

All i had to say is goodbye
We're better off this way
I'm alive but I'm losing all my drive
Cause everything about you seemed to be a lie
A guiltless twisted lie
It made me learn to hate you
Or hate myself for letting it pass by

And every, everything isn't only
What it seemed to hold these
Words that you never tell me